Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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