Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
