I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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