you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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