I've blown a few things in my day
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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