Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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