Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
