So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
