Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
