I cannot find my penis.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
