I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
