We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
