im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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