you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
