yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
