He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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