he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
