Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
