...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
porn star boner night. come get it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
