how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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