Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
