then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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