ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
