TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You smell like stripper and shame
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is Oprah even human
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
