So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
