I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
