he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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