Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
