Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
