You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
