i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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