just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
