I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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