What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
