You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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