i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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