The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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