Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
