We won't sleep together?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
