coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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