dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
