Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
