Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you inspire me to be a worse person
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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