Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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