and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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