Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
3pm strippers are depressing
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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