And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
