3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
