I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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