we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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