Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
