Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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